livet, håpet og kjærligheten - life, hope, and love

This is a blog that (till now) is about life, hope and love. My everyday experiences as a human being, struggling with warious matters in life, but also moments of happiness, good things in life. Ingunn

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Tilbake til hverdagen

Ja, nå har jeg vært tilbake i hverdagen i snart tre uker. Rart etter 6 måneder i en trygg boble...
Lever ganske så strukturert ja, sover faktisk en 5-6 timer hver natt - kjempebra til meg å være. Trener en gang i uka og prøver å få gått en tur hver dag.

Er godt i gang med jobb igjen og det er herlig :-). Det er også litt skummelt, for jeg er dårlig på å ha det bra uten å ha et strukturert innhold i dagen min...

Jeg øver og øver på å bli mer sosial, og jeg øver på å trives hjemme - ikke lett, for jeg aktiverer desverre en del negative ting når jeg er hjemme, på grunn av ting som skjedde i vår...
Prøver å gjøre det trivelig rundt meg da - nytt varmt gulvteppe, ved i ovnen, lamper og masse stearinlys. Også god musikk! Også skal jeg kjøpe meg ski. Stoore planer nå...

Mye sosialt nå før jul ihvertfall: Julebord har jeg vært på. På lørdag var jeg på jazzkafe - herlig :-). Og i kveld skal jeg på julekonsert. Neste uke skal jeg treffe tre halvsøstre - årlig førjulsforeteelse. Og så skal jeg ha to venninner på julegløgg også :-). Så det årnær seg..

Julelønna som kom i dag ble en skuffelse, for nå er jeg jo på 30% rehabilitering og det merkes, fristende å gjøre uoverveide økonomiske disposisjoner....Nei ingunn!

Jeg fikk et gripende dikt på mail i dag, deler det:


Ode til livet (Den dør langsomt) av Pablo Neruda
Langsomt dør den som forblir en slave av sine vaner
den som hver dag vandrer i samme spor
den som ikke forandrer retning
den som ikke tar sjanser eller skifter farge på klærne
den som ikke snakker med ukjente.

Den dør langsomt, som unnlater å følge en lidenskap,
den som sverger til svart fremfor hvitt
og til pirkete detaljer fremfor et vell av følelser,
som får øynene til å gløde, som forvandler gjesp til smil,
Som får hjertet til å banke, fordi noe har gått galt eller av følelsesaffekt.

Langsomt dør den som ikke endevender sitt bord.
Den som er ulykkelig i sitt arbeid, den som ikke risikerer,
den som ikke tør følge en drøm, den som ikke tillater seg selv,
minst en gang i livet, å bryte med all fornuft.

Langsomt dør den som ikke leser, den som ikke reiser,
den som ikke lytter til musikk, den som ikke finner nåde i sitt eget dyp.
Den dør langsomt, som ødelegger egenverdet den som ikke tar imot hjelp,
den som ustanselig klager over egen ulykke eller over det ustoppelige regnet.
Langsomt dør den som forlater en plan før den har begynt,
den som ikke spør om ting han ikke vet,
den som ikke svarer når noen spør om noe han vet.

La oss unngå denne langsomme død.
La oss huske at det å være i live krever en større anstrengelse enn kun å puste,
bare med en glødende tålmodighet kan vi finne veien til en glitrende glede…


Oversatt fra spansk av Kristin Flood, 2007

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